My Journey to Freebirth
When I became a doula back in 2013 I had already visited Ina May’s farm so I knew birth outside the system was a thing. But it wasn’t until I started learning from Whapio and studying Michele Odent’s work that I learned that, not only did we ruin hospital birth, but also that homebirth with a midwife is also sabotaging for most(if not all) women. And the way that we humans were designed to birth is in fact similar to many other mammals…
Undisturbed, unobserved, and mostly left alone. I would later learn about a woman(midwife) named Jekanine Pavarti Baker who coined the term freebirth and continue to be inspired by the idea of self led birth.
Whapio imparting wisdom on all of us
As a doula supporting mostly hospital births at first after having my own traumatic hospital birth as well; I knew I would never do that again. I repeatedly witnessed coercion, bullying, and even sexual assault during what I believed(and knew) to be the most natural, beautifully vulnerable, sacred experience in any woman’s life.
After years of that I finally made the decision to only support homebirths. I naively thought that would be the way to get away from witnessing the abuse. Boy was I wrong. If the midwife wasn’t a midwife that literally brought the entire hospital to your home, she was a woman who cosplayed as confident and empowered but operated from a place of fear and control.
So I made the bold decision to open my services up to the women I was told I shouldn’t because it was a liability and dangerous situation to put myself in. I began to support women birthing completely outside the system.
And then I saw it, experienced it, felt it in my bones.
This— this is birth.
The women were fearlessly wise and in complete control and authority over themselves. They listened to their intuitions and sought out medical advice when they deemed it necessary. They did their own prenatal care and genuinely just enjoyed the whole journey… even the hard parts.
I found my kinda people.
I made the decision then, that whenever I would be blessed to have the opportunity to birth again, I would do it alone and in my FULL power.
In 2019, I got married and less than 2 months later, I conceived my second son, Saoul. My husband knew we would have a homebirth but he didn't know my plans to do it all unassisted. That conversation was surprisingly much easier than I expected it to be. And by easier, I mean my husband is extremely logical and because freebirth is the only logical way to have the safest birth possible as a human.. He understood. Did he draw a venn diagram and ask me a TON of clarifying questions? Yes. I was able to answer all of his questions clearly and confidently and he trusted me.
I somewhat hid my pregnancy… well mostly just from social media. I didn't want to have ANYONE plant any seeds of doubt in my mind about my ability to do this on my own. When random people asked about my plans for birth, I’d usually just say we’re having a homebirth and leave it at that. I did my own prenatal care, measuring my fundal height, and tracking my weight and blood pressure. I listened to my baby’s heartbeat with a fetal doppler a few times and practiced using a fetoscope as well. It was such a fun new experience and I wanted to document it in some way.
8 months pregnant
I practiced mindfulness and tuning in to my body’s needs for everything from nutrition to movement and quiet time alone and rest. I began eating meat and even beef liver after 7ish years of being vegan/vegetarian because my body was just screaming for it. I listened.
I felt AMAZING during this pregnancy and that helped my confidence in my ability to listen to and trust my intuition even more. Everytime I did, the feeling of peace and wellbeing just increased.
When the time came to birth my baby on my own terms, I was ready. I was more than ready, I was excited! And more than that, I was in complete control.
